Mental Fragments

Welcome to my humble abode in cyberspace. After months of procrastinating, I finally started a blog. Thanks to Friendster they made my life easier (pls. send 10$ via money transfer). To tell the truth, I’m a bit hesitant starting this blog. Generally I’m an introvert (but I’m beginning to think that I’m a closet extrovert =)). I find it hard open up to people, even to close friends. It’s hard for me to speak my mind especially if the one listening (or reading) doesn’t really know me. But what the heck! There’s no use in worrying about what other people will say. This is my space (oops… there goes the 10$), and nothing or no one is going to stop me from speaking my mind. But feel free to post your comments. I would really like to hear your views (both positive and negative).

In the movie Coach Carter, Samuel Jackson (as Coach Carter) repeatedly asked one of his players this question. Towards the end of the movie, the player answered:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The quote from the movie really struck me. Somehow I can relate to the player’s answer.

I’m afraid to be different and stand out from the crowd. I know I can do great things but I choose not to share my talents. When I do something, I usually settle for mediocrity even though I know I can do better. Why am I doing this? I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s because I don’t want people around me to feel insecure. Or maybe I don’t want people to say anything negative about me. But no matter what the reason is, what I’m doing is false humility. And without me being aware of it, false humility somehow affected my self-esteem. Often times I worry too much about what other people think of me that I end up not doing the things that I really want to do.

I realized that this habit is not healthy and I have to change it. It’s time to get out of my shell and “let my light shine!”