I’m on the edge… and I’m going to jump. I don’t want to think anymore. I’ve been thinking all my life. It doesn’t matter if I fall. It’s better than having to regret later that I didn’t take the risk. I know I’ll be alright. He’ll be there to catch me.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
I came across this poem last Thursday when I was looking for posters at Tower Records. The poem really got me that I bought the poster. It’s an affirmation of what I’m trying to do with my life. I would like to post it somewhere where I can always see it. Too bad our room doesn’t have a space for it right now. I hope this poem will also be a guide in your lives.
I just spent almost the whole day at home. Most of my plans for the day didn’t push through. First I cancelled my out of town trip to Laguna with village friends to make way for jam session with office friends. But then the jamming was cancelled because one of my bandmates went to the hospital to have his back checked-up. Then this evening, the scheduled basketball was also cancelled because the court was wet because of the rain. I also called some friends to go out and at least watch a movie but to no avail. Good thing I only rescheduled and didn’t cancel my afternoon drum lessons to this morning to accommodate both the lessons and jamming on the same day. If not, I would have been stuck the whole day at home.
Since I had nothing to do this evening, I thought of writing some long overdue testimonials for friends. I finished 5 decent ones and it took me a couple of hours. Syempre I want to write the best testimonials! I plan to write more when I have time. Marami pa akong utang. 
It’s a way of thanking the person for being a good friend.
While writing these testimonials, I realized something. One problem that I have is that I usually don’t show emotions in front of people because I view it as a sign of weakness (which is really not). It’s seldom that I let people know what I feel about them. And when I do, it’s really monumental for me. It’s easier for me to just write it than tell it straight to their faces. I think that the reason is that it’s some kind of self-protection because I don’t want to be dependent on other people. At times I might come to others as a cold person, but in reality I’m not.
