Friendships take a great deal of time and effort to develop. And it’s harder to develop if the lives of the persons involved are not really connected. I know this fact but I still tried. I don’t see the person regularly and even if I know this person for quite sometime, there is no relationship to build upon in the first place. All I have are admiration and past feelings which I’m not sure if its still there. I thought that maybe if I start this friendship, it can develop to something deeper. But even if I wasn’t expecting that something will develop; unknowingly, a part of me does.

It’s not that I have developed deep feelings for her. Maybe I’m just surprised that she is in a relationship now. Or maybe it’s just a feeling that I somehow failed because I really didn’t try my best to make a connection. But thinking about it, it’s not really my style to bug, impress and force anyone for the sake of having a relationship. Maybe I’m guarded because I’m not yet that close to her and I didn’t want to send mixed signals. I think that it was better for me to do that rather than her getting hurt if she assumes that I have feelings that aren’t there yet.

The end is not bad at all. At least there’s a resolution of the past. I think that I have learned many things from this experience and I can use them in my future relationships with other people. Probably He’s telling me that I should first focus in improving my relationship with the people around me.