My cousin forwarded an email to me and I in turn forwarded it to my friends. Here’s the contents of the email
Being Twenty-Something to Thirty-Something
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are
realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to
your list of what is acceptable and what is not.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there
is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better.
You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life
for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
====================
A number of friends reacted to this. One was a former officemate; he said that he can relate to many of the situations in the email. Another friend who is already married gave her insights:
Hehehe interesting concept. Sometimes, I think we’re just getting bored. Or we realize our dreams are not feasible enough to concretize.
But yep, we all miss the past sometimes… most of the time. Lesser responsibilities. Lesser accountability.
Best to appreciate what we have. Lesser constraints hehe. More opportunities.
From a perspective of someone who is currently in this phase, I then gave my insights to her about it:
Quarter life crisis maybe just a label to all of the uncertainties that we are experiencing at this stage of our lives. That after achieving substantial success in our careers, we start to think that there’s more to life than just work. Maybe this is the phase where we start to really be the one in control of our lives. Our parents, friends and peers can only give advice and direction but the decision is still with us on what path in life to take. This sudden freedom is new to us and brings confusion. We can choose to bring back the times when we had less responsibilities or we can choose to move forward, take the challenge and do something bigger than us.
How about you? What’s your take on quarter life crisis? How do you deal with it?
The preparation for the YAMO Sunday service started at 7pm but came 11pm, the video shoot wasn’t through yet. I wanted to finish it but since I have to go to office today, I had to leave early. But going home early was no use because I’m still thinking about it even if I’m already in bed. So I thought that blogging it would somehow make me feel sleepy. =))
